AlteniaTT
Joined: Sep 03,
2003
I used to be
AlteniaTheTerrible! But I guess I needed more
love.
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About a week
ago I given an assignment to write a sattire. We had just read
A Modest Proposal and were able to choose whatever subject we
wanted. I chose our schools mascot being named the racist
"Kelseyville Indians" as the founder of our town Mr. Kelsey
massacred a bunch of indians here. But that's a moot point
anyways as I feel the term Indian as degrading anyways. Well
here goes my essay plz no ban 
A Short Discourse on Indians and
Niggers
It has recently come to my attention that there
is a major problem here at Kelseyville High School. The
problem, though it may seem trite, is that our beloved mascot,
the Indian, can be considered by some people as slightly
racially insensitive. Some of the major complaints stem from
the fact that the founder of our quaint town, Mr. Kelsey,
severely mistreated, abused, and massacred many Indians. On
top of this, Indian is not the preferred nomenclature of the
indigenous peoples of our land. They prefer the term “Native
American” and find the term “Indian” as offensive. On the
other hand, it could be argued that changing the name of our
mascot would be going too over the top with political
correctness. The same people who make this argument would also
say that we do not use the Indian as a demeaning term. We see
the Indian as a symbol of pride, discipline, tenacity, and
independence. While both sides have good points, I think that
a common ground can be easily found.
As I stated
earlier, one of the major complaints about our mascot being
the “Kelseyville Indians” is that the founder of our town Mr.
Kelsey was abusive towards the indigenous people of our lands.
A defense against this is that some folks do not want to cater
to people who are too politically correct. An easy way to
appease both sides is by changing the name of our mascot from
the “Indian” to the “Nigger.” Mr. Kelsey never knowingly
mistreated any niggers, so that problem is avoided. Nigger is
also not the preferred nomenclature for people of African
descent, so we also avoid being too politically correct. On
top of this, we can use the mascot promote racial respect
because the niggers have been through many hardships, and have
displayed many qualities that are quite admirable.
Of
course, there are going to be some niggers who will want to
complain about our choice of a mascot. However, after
explaining both our decision to change mascots and the fact
that we are only using the nigger as our mascot out of
respect, they are sure to understand. The niggers are a very
understanding people. I recently talked to a nigger friend of
mine about this very subject. He was thrilled about the idea
and excited to have his race idolized as a symbol of strength,
endurance, and pride. He also assured me that most people in
the nigger community would be equally as supportive and that
the only a very small portion of the community would be
opposed on grounds which should be dismissed as the ravings of
a vocal minority. People will get angry at anything now a
days!
Another ridiculous thing that people have
complained about our mascot is our cheers which are
“insensitive” to Indians. It’s a bunch of poppycock if you ask
me but some people get offended by cheers that include the
“WOO WOO WOO,” that Indians are known to do with their hand
over their mouths. Some people are also offended by the fact
that our cheerleaders encourage the fans to give the “Indian
call of war.” If we use our compromise, we can still keep
these cheers but change them to the stereotypes of the nigger.
No one will get mad, because seriously, what is there to get
mad about? Instead of having fans hold foam tomahawks, we can
have them hold foam fried chicken legs because niggers are
known to love fried chicken, just as Indians are known to love
tomahawks. Instead of having cheerleaders and fans saying
“WOO, WOO, WOO, WAR!” we can have them say “YO DOGG THAT SHIT
BE WACK!” We can keep appeasing those who are offended that
Mr. Kelsey mistreated the Indians while still being as
politically incorrect as possible! Our incorporation of the
nigger won’t stop here though. We can have one of our
cheerleaders paint their face black, dress in fubu, wear large
gold chains, and dance to rap music. They can be our mascot.
How exciting!
There is one thing to be considered
though. By naming our school mascot the niggers, we are
leaving ourselves open to attack. Some of our rival schools
may be tempted to use our mascot’s name against us by making
signs that say things such as “LYNCH THE NIGGERS!” or “PUT ALL
THE NIGGERS ON A BOAT AND SEND THEM BACK TO AFRICA!” It may be
true that these signs would be slightly racially insensitive,
but we would have to learn to put up with them. Rival
Clearlake High School currently makes signs that say “Scalp
the Indians,” which are tolerated, so tolerating “Lynch the
Niggers,” should be no problem as niggers were not mistreated
so vehemently in this particular area.
I hope that my
compromise will be considered. If you are unhappy with the
choice of the nigger as our mascot, there are many others
which may be chosen. Aside from the nigger, my other favorites
are the wop, kike, wetback, chink, bukkake warrior, camel
jockey, dot head, or gook. All of these races show admirable
qualities and would be worthy of idolization as our mascot. Or
we could also use the Bulldogs.
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